“Plastic Jesus” — lyrics & chords

Words and music by Ed Rush and George Cromarty. 1957. Additional verses by Andru Bemis

 E                                E7 I don’t care if it rains or freezes  A Long as I’ve got my plastic Jesus  E                                                                   B  B7 Riding on the dashboard of my car  E                                              E7 Through all trials and tribulations  A We shall ride through every nation  E                                  B7                    E With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far I don’t care if it snows and blowses Long as I’ve got magnetic Moses With tiny plastic tablets in his arms Through traffic, tolls and other such mess He is my heavenly GPS I trust that he will guide me from all harm                  A                            E Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus                                                                        B  B7 Riding on the dashboard of my car  E Through all trials and tribulations  A We shall ride through every nation  E                                  B7                     E With my plastic Jesus I’ll go far I bought myself a pink Madonna Dressed in rhinestones, sitting on a Pedestal of abalone shell I chose the one that’s phosphorescent She glows in the dark, she’s pink and pleasant She guarantees that I won’t go to hell Now I don’t care if it’s dark and scary Long as I have my glowing Mary Reclining on the dashboard of my car But Moses just might have to go His magnet’s been ruining my radio And if we crash, his staff might leave a scar Matthew, Martha, Luke and John All were testifying on The rear window shelf behind the seat They must have made the Devil mighty mad He stole what little looks they had And melted all their features to their feet I always try to do what’s right But I was driving late the other night And could not keep from swerving across the line The cop was not at all impressed To learn His Plastic Holiness Had transformed all my coffee into wine                  A                            E Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus                                                                        B  B7 Riding on the dashboard of my car    E I know that I’m protected amply           A I’ve got the whole damn Holy Family  E                            B7                                 E Riding on the dashboard of my car